I was very touched by this article by spiritual teacher and activist Thorn Coyle, and thought I would share it:
The Unworthy Expert, Making Offerings.
She addresses the issues of self-worth that prevent us from reaching out to our communities, doing the good work that our hearts call us to do. Sometimes, we might see a need for change but doubt our capacity to make it happen. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, even despair, when we see suffering around us but feel powerless to change it.
She points out that sometimes the simple offering of compassionate presence, in the face of suffering, can be tremendously healing. All too often, we doubt the power of simple human connection.
I have met a number of therapists who doubt themselves. A common sentiment that I hear is “How can I possibly help others? I have so much baggage…so much trauma. How can I be a counselor?”
It’s funny, because these are often the people who turn out to be the best counselors in the field. Why? Because they are capable of really getting into their clients’ worlds, and understanding what they have been through. Such therapists have a beautiful gift to offer the people they serve. They have inspired me to be brave and authentic about admitting that I have faced my own demons. This has probably been one of the healthiest decisions I have ever made, regarding my practice. It turns out that most clients prefer working with a therapist who admits they are a human being.
True contact cannot happen from a place of perfectionism. Sooner or later, we have to let ourselves off the hook, and commit to showing up as our perfectly imperfect selves.
As you head into spring, and new growth starts to form, think about what type of growth you can bring into your life…and into the world. What positive change would you like to make? What is holding you back? If you feel that it is lack of competency, think about whether this comes from an accurate assessment of your skills, or a fear of unworthiness. Skills can be learned, after all. Worth is inherent. Presence is a gift that we can all offer, and the foundation upon which all healing, connection and change is based.