Check out these pictures from Pridefest, posted on the Healthcare Guild website:

http://denverhealthcareguild.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/denverpride3.png

The Denver Chapter of the Healthcare Guild had nearly 30 members marching in June’s Pride Parade. We handed out 5,000 cards with our mission statement and a link to our on-line provider directory.  You can watch a video of the group marching on-line:

FYI:  the provider directory provides a list of general practitioners, dermatologists, dentists, chiropractors and (of course) therapists who serve the LGBTQIA community.

Expanding on last week’s thoughts, I found another interesting article by Scot Nakagawa, regarding marriage equality:

Why I Support Same-Sex Marriage as a Civil Right, but Not as a Strategy to Achieve Structural Change.

He states:  I’ve also argued in support of same sex marriage rights. However, I have some serious worries about the broad implications of this victory. Why? First, the obvious. Marriage is a conservative institution. It licenses certain kinds of relationships and not others based on a template that reproduces a status quo rooted in conservative Christian religious values.

Despite celebrating a victory for same-sex couples, I do feel that Nakagawa’s concerns are valid. To laud marriage equality while ignoring couple privilege is potentially dangerous.  I am a firm advocate of supporting same-sex marriage as a step in the right direction, toward a world where we can define “family” as we choose.

Am I talking about supporting polyamory, for those who want it?  Yes, that’s part of it. I’d love to see a world where there was an option to include more than one intimate partner on a family insurance plan.  I’m stepping even further outside the box, though. Our social and economic structures are set up to value sexual relationships over non-sexual relationships.  This leaves many people out in the cold, unable to form support structures.

There are those of us who have difficulty with sexual intimacy, due to a traumatic history.  If we value sexual relationships over other forms of support, this places subtle but incessant pressure on a trauma survivor…to seek sexual relationships that they might not be ready to have, rather than prioritizing nurturing friendships that support recovery.  We also must consider the needs of people who simply aren’t sexual.  In an interview with Asexual activist David Jay, he muses about his desire to start a family:

Something I’ve felt really strongly about (and can’t really say why) is having a kid. I want to adopt so I thought I needed to be in a committed relationship to do this. And the way most people find a committed relationship is through dating and the way most people date is through sexuality. So about two years ago I was like, shit, I have to train myself to be sexual in order to form the kind of relationships I want.

It saddens me to think of people who wish to form loving families, who cannot do this because their relational needs do not fit into our narrowly defined parameters of acceptable support structures.

We can do better, as a society. Mental health professionals can help, by dropping assumptions of what our clients’ relationships should look like, while supporting them to build support networks that optimally meet their needs.  When a client seeks healing and recovery, priority should be placed on relationships that create the greatest sense of empathic connection and safety. Everything else is just logistics. The client is usually more than capable of working out those logistics, with the support of a therapist who can think outside the relational box.

It’s been a week since the repeal of DOMA.  It’s Independence Day, and I’m in a political mood…especially after seeing that the Daily Camera went ahead and published my letter to the editor about “Gay Marriage”.

With DOMA repealed, it is time to take further steps toward full marriage equality. It is time to retire the term “Gay Marriage.” This term, often used pejoratively by social conservatives, implies a separate but not-quite-equal status for same-sex couples.

There is marriage…and then there’s “gay” marriage. Why must any loving union between committed partners come with this qualifier, which sets it apart from the assumed default? Is this really the idea that the Daily Camera wishes to convey? Is this really the term that your writers should be using?

My rant was very much inspired by that of Liz Feldman, who could not have stated her point more eloquently.

<———

LGBT folks and their allies have fought hard to be in a place where discussions like this come to the table. There is now an opportunity to bask in the glow of a victory and argue semantics.  We can look into the future and see a clearer vision of a time when people will not talk about “Gay” marriage, as opposed to regular old marriage.  In my letter, I go on to say:

I suspect that the phrase “Gay Marriage” will be all but phased out, in the next few years. I would love to see the writers of the Daily Camera participate actively, in phasing it out. Let’s stop talking about “Gay Marriage,” while we keep conversations going about marriage equality and civil rights….

Am I being overly optimistic?  Maybe, maybe not.  I’m choosing to err on the side of too much optimism.  The existentialist in me says that we all shape reality (and society) by our choices.  The transpersonal counselor in me looks back to the ancient wisdom traditions, which believed that words have power.  Can we expect the world to drop the term “Gay Marriage?”  You know what?  I can’t predict the future. How about if we, ourselves, choose to drop it…and see what happens.

That’s my plan, anyway.

I will be hosting a booth with the LGBTQIA Healthcare Guild at the Out Boulder Health fair.

Now, you may be wondering, who is this “Guild”, of which I speak?  The Guild offers local referrals for LGBT-affirming healthcare providers and serves as a clearinghouse for healthcare resources that focus on meeting the needs of sexual and gender minorities.  We will be providing information on how consumers can make sure that their healthcare providers are LGBTQIA-affirming.

I’m happy to announce that I am now part of the Open Path Psychotherapy Collective.  We are a group of dedicated, experienced professionals, committed to addressing economic disparity in the mental health system.

Check out our video, below:

In the course of my mental heath career, I have encountered many people who fall “through the cracks”.  There are those who do not qualify for assistance through community outreach programs, but cannot afford private psychotherapy at the full price.

I now offer greatly reduced rates to clients referred through Open Path.  Please check out our website for more information on our services:

http://openpathcollective.org/

I found this video by Louie Schwartzberg to be truly inspirational, and I wanted to share it with you.

I particularly love this quote:  “Beauty and seduction are nature’s tools for survival, because we protect what we fall in love with.”

I invite you to do something for yourself, today. Find something beautiful and seductive. Look up at the snowy mountains.  Watch the geese by the creek.  Stay at home, and feel the warmth of your cat, purring in your lap.

Stay with that feeling, for as long as you can.  Maybe it’s just for a minute, or so.  There is no need to judge yourself, if you find yourself losing focus. This isn’t a formal meditation.  It’s not an exercise in concentration, and it’s not a test. It’s an invitation.  Let yourself relax into something beautiful.  Give yourself something to fall in love with.

Allowing ourselves to experience small joys, throughout our day, gives us the internal resources that support emotional resiliency. Our nervous system becomes better equipped to deal with the ups and downs of life.

Experiencing beauty is part of healing.  Nature supports us as we take our journey, returning to ourselves.  I find that to be a comforting thought.

I am privileged to live in a place like Boulder, where it is easy to find conscious-minded folks.  If one wants a class in Yoga or meditation, one need not look far.  Yoga is commonly recommended for stress relief, and for good reason.  It can be wonderful for relaxation, fitness and spiritual well-being.

There are, however, important things to take into account.  If you’re not used to being aware of your body, it can be difficult to jump right into intense body awareness practices.  If you have PTSD, and want to try yoga, I suggest the following:

-Choose small yoga classes, where you have the opportunity for personalized instruction.

-If a pose is painful, let the instructor know.  They should be able to provide adjustments.

-Set boundaries around touch.  Sometimes, people with trauma find sudden touch to be triggering, or at least jarring.  Yoga instructors will often provide adjustments by touching their students. Let them know whether you are OK with this.  Would you rather have verbal instructions about adjustments, rather than touch?  Or, is touch something you feel ambivalent about?  I recommend telling the instructor to ask permission, before touching you…or at least letting you know that they are going to do it. That way, you aren’t taken by surprise.

-Give yourself permission to take a break.  Your yoga practice isn’t helping you if it is causing anxiety%