It’s been a week since the repeal of DOMA.  It’s Independence Day, and I’m in a political mood…especially after seeing that the Daily Camera went ahead and published my letter to the editor about “Gay Marriage”.

With DOMA repealed, it is time to take further steps toward full marriage equality. It is time to retire the term “Gay Marriage.” This term, often used pejoratively by social conservatives, implies a separate but not-quite-equal status for same-sex couples.

There is marriage…and then there’s “gay” marriage. Why must any loving union between committed partners come with this qualifier, which sets it apart from the assumed default? Is this really the idea that the Daily Camera wishes to convey? Is this really the term that your writers should be using?

My rant was very much inspired by that of Liz Feldman, who could not have stated her point more eloquently.

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LGBT folks and their allies have fought hard to be in a place where discussions like this come to the table. There is now an opportunity to bask in the glow of a victory and argue semantics.  We can look into the future and see a clearer vision of a time when people will not talk about “Gay” marriage, as opposed to regular old marriage.  In my letter, I go on to say:

I suspect that the phrase “Gay Marriage” will be all but phased out, in the next few years. I would love to see the writers of the Daily Camera participate actively, in phasing it out. Let’s stop talking about “Gay Marriage,” while we keep conversations going about marriage equality and civil rights….

Am I being overly optimistic?  Maybe, maybe not.  I’m choosing to err on the side of too much optimism.  The existentialist in me says that we all shape reality (and society) by our choices.  The transpersonal counselor in me looks back to the ancient wisdom traditions, which believed that words have power.  Can we expect the world to drop the term “Gay Marriage?”  You know what?  I can’t predict the future. How about if we, ourselves, choose to drop it…and see what happens.

That’s my plan, anyway.

I will be hosting a booth with the LGBTQIA Healthcare Guild at the Out Boulder Health fair.

Now, you may be wondering, who is this “Guild”, of which I speak?  The Guild offers local referrals for LGBT-affirming healthcare providers and serves as a clearinghouse for healthcare resources that focus on meeting the needs of sexual and gender minorities.  We will be providing information on how consumers can make sure that their healthcare providers are LGBTQIA-affirming.

I’m happy to announce that I am now part of the Open Path Psychotherapy Collective.  We are a group of dedicated, experienced professionals, committed to addressing economic disparity in the mental health system.

Check out our video, below:

In the course of my mental heath career, I have encountered many people who fall “through the cracks”.  There are those who do not qualify for assistance through community outreach programs, but cannot afford private psychotherapy at the full price.

I now offer greatly reduced rates to clients referred through Open Path.  Please check out our website for more information on our services:

http://openpathcollective.org/

I found this video by Louie Schwartzberg to be truly inspirational, and I wanted to share it with you.

I particularly love this quote:  “Beauty and seduction are nature’s tools for survival, because we protect what we fall in love with.”

I invite you to do something for yourself, today. Find something beautiful and seductive. Look up at the snowy mountains.  Watch the geese by the creek.  Stay at home, and feel the warmth of your cat, purring in your lap.

Stay with that feeling, for as long as you can.  Maybe it’s just for a minute, or so.  There is no need to judge yourself, if you find yourself losing focus. This isn’t a formal meditation.  It’s not an exercise in concentration, and it’s not a test. It’s an invitation.  Let yourself relax into something beautiful.  Give yourself something to fall in love with.

Allowing ourselves to experience small joys, throughout our day, gives us the internal resources that support emotional resiliency. Our nervous system becomes better equipped to deal with the ups and downs of life.

Experiencing beauty is part of healing.  Nature supports us as we take our journey, returning to ourselves.  I find that to be a comforting thought.

I am privileged to live in a place like Boulder, where it is easy to find conscious-minded folks.  If one wants a class in Yoga or meditation, one need not look far.  Yoga is commonly recommended for stress relief, and for good reason.  It can be wonderful for relaxation, fitness and spiritual well-being.

There are, however, important things to take into account.  If you’re not used to being aware of your body, it can be difficult to jump right into intense body awareness practices.  If you have PTSD, and want to try yoga, I suggest the following:

-Choose small yoga classes, where you have the opportunity for personalized instruction.

-If a pose is painful, let the instructor know.  They should be able to provide adjustments.

-Set boundaries around touch.  Sometimes, people with trauma find sudden touch to be triggering, or at least jarring.  Yoga instructors will often provide adjustments by touching their students. Let them know whether you are OK with this.  Would you rather have verbal instructions about adjustments, rather than touch?  Or, is touch something you feel ambivalent about?  I recommend telling the instructor to ask permission, before touching you…or at least letting you know that they are going to do it. That way, you aren’t taken by surprise.

-Give yourself permission to take a break.  Your yoga practice isn’t helping you if it is causing anxiety%