It’s been a week since the repeal of DOMA. It’s Independence Day, and I’m in a political mood…especially after seeing that the Daily Camera went ahead and published my letter to the editor about “Gay Marriage”.
With DOMA repealed, it is time to take further steps toward full marriage equality. It is time to retire the term “Gay Marriage.” This term, often used pejoratively by social conservatives, implies a separate but not-quite-equal status for same-sex couples.
There is marriage…and then there’s “gay” marriage. Why must any loving union between committed partners come with this qualifier, which sets it apart from the assumed default? Is this really the idea that the Daily Camera wishes to convey? Is this really the term that your writers should be using?
My rant was very much inspired by that of Liz Feldman, who could not have stated her point more eloquently.
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LGBT folks and their allies have fought hard to be in a place where discussions like this come to the table. There is now an opportunity to bask in the glow of a victory and argue semantics. We can look into the future and see a clearer vision of a time when people will not talk about “Gay” marriage, as opposed to regular old marriage. In my letter, I go on to say:
I suspect that the phrase “Gay Marriage” will be all but phased out, in the next few years. I would love to see the writers of the Daily Camera participate actively, in phasing it out. Let’s stop talking about “Gay Marriage,” while we keep conversations going about marriage equality and civil rights….
Am I being overly optimistic? Maybe, maybe not. I’m choosing to err on the side of too much optimism. The existentialist in me says that we all shape reality (and society) by our choices. The transpersonal counselor in me looks back to the ancient wisdom traditions, which believed that words have power. Can we expect the world to drop the term “Gay Marriage?” You know what? I can’t predict the future. How about if we, ourselves, choose to drop it…and see what happens.
That’s my plan, anyway.